“I wait for you, I watch for you. My whole life is you…I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me…you control me, I belong to you!” – Olivia Pope ‘Scandal‘
If you have not joined the Scandal bandwagon than you need to-IMMEDIATELY! Anyone who knows me, understands that Thursday, 10: 00 PM EST has been dedicated to Shonda Rhimes latest TV hit. For the clueless or disinterested, here is a brief overview of Scandal.
Scandal is an American political thriller television series starring Kerry Washington. Created by Shonda Rhimes, it debuted on ABC on April 5, 2012. Kerry Washington’s character, Olivia Pope, is partially based on former George Bush administration press aide Judy Smith, who serves as a co-executive producer. The show takes place in Washington, D.C. and focuses on Olivia Pope’s crisis management firm, Pope & Associates, and its staff, as well as staff at the White House. – Wikipedia (Wikipedia fails to reveal in the overview that the President, Fitzgerald Grant and Olivia Pope are embroiled in a steamy but complex relationship)
Sleeping with a married man is one thing; but falling in love with him is another. What is one to do when they have found themselves in love with a married man who happens to be the president? Not as black and white as you may think. Just ask Olivia how she is managing! Wanting to do the right thing which doesn’t necessarily align with her heart, Olivia is STUCK. Here you have an intelligent, beautiful and powerful woman but her one weakness is Fitz. Every episode my heart yearns for them to find love in a hopeless place (it’s the romantic in me). Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating for infidelity or encouraging adultery by somehow I can’t help but to root for them.
Many of you may be thinking, well if he truly wanted to be with her then he would divorce his wife and make it official! Yes, but it is not that easy. If it were, there would be no Season 2 or 3 (remember this is a fictional drama). Not only is this man the President, but he also represents a party (Republican) that will not embrace his decision of divorcing his pregnant (yes pregnant) wife for a black woman.
So when the person you’re in love with, tells you to wait, what do you do?
Every situation is different and I completely understand that. Not every person is dealing with a married person or someone in a committed relationship. Yet, there are some people who are waiting for someone who knowingly has nothing to offer.
For example, myself.
I was young, dumb and in love? You could NOT tell me ANYTHING about this person. I thought that I found my (male) best friend and I trusted everything he said without any doubt. Not only was he placed on a major pedestal but I was constantly entertaining the idea of being in a relationship with someone who was barely given me anything to hold unto it. The only thing that I was left with were empty words and hours of time spent thinking, wishing and hoping that my dreams would turn into reality.
Yeah……that didn’t happen. LOL.
After finally realizing that I was running continuously into a brick wall, I decided to make ME a priority. The only thing I was left with was major disappointment and resentment. Was it my fault? Yes to a certain degree, but I had someone who was
un intentionally dragging out the what if’s and the maybe’s. I wanted to believe it, or rather him so badly, that I ate it all up.
When reality hit, (and boy did it hit hard) I was embarrassed at myself and how I fell for something that was NEVER, EVER going to happen (In my Taylor Swift voice). It was a harsh reality that I had to face but I could understand how one could fall for someone when your heart is completely devoted.
I won’t delve too much into the show (because I want you to watch it) but after asking Olivia to wait for him, Fritz has a change of heart and breaks her heart.
I don’t want to sound like someone who is bitter and gotten the short end of the stick, because I’m finally experiencing the other side of waiting.
When you find someone who is mutually interested in growing with you and investing their time, heart and money to your relationship than by all means, go for it. I have.
When it came to long distance relationships, I was never a fan of it. Well actually I was open to it; but the person I wanted to date did not want the same thing. Go figure. My mindset has not changed and I am still an advocate for long distance relationships, especially with someone who genuinely shows you that they are committed. It is not easy and it can be trying, but when you find that one person who you can’t see your life without, then distance is a temporary inconvenience.
So the choice is yours!
You can wait for someone who is emotionally unavailable, who feeds you crumbs and yet, you can’t or won’t let go. Or you can find yourself with someone who genuinely loves you and is willing and ready for a monogamous relationship. I can’t tell people what to do but my past has taught me that I am not for the ambiguous and unfulfilled.
I’ve learned how to wait for the bad and now that I’m experiencing the other side, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!