Are You Vocal About Your Needs…..Sexually?!

Suck my cockiness
Lick my persuasion
Eat my words
And swallow your pride down, down

Place my wants and needs
Over your resistance
And then you come around…

Here you are with the guy that you like; you’ve played cute and coy for a while and now you want to take it to the next level. However, instead of letting him know what you want or how you want it, you wait for him to initiate contact. He kisses you, he leads you to the bedroom, he puts the condom on, he orgasms and you…you my dear, just partake.


Sounds like something you have experienced? Yeah, because a lot of women have. Many are not vocally expressing themselves in a manner that would leave them satisfied. Want to know why I like Rihanna, despite the lack of strong vocal skills? Not only does her music have me shaking my hips but she sings things that I wouldn’t dare say out loud. If you gave me pen and paper, my imagination will override any shyness or manners that was instilled in me.


Many will say that her overtly sexy and raunchy ways are not role model material. Um…I didn’t know that she was auditioning to be America’s Next Role Model. I get it. When you’re put on such a platform and have impressionable girls/women looking up to you, there is a power and sense of obligation there. Don’t get it twisted, I understand but I believe her music is allowing women to be open and comfortable with their sexuality. Rarely is it socially acceptable to be a woman who is sexually comfortable. With politicans defining the meaning of rape and what a woman can legally or illegally (depending on who you talk too) do to their bodies, many have the notion that men are the only ones allowed to be sexual human beings.

You loved to be spanked? Say so. You want your hair pulled? Speak up. Want more oral in your life? Show him.

The mood is set,
So you already know what’s next.
TV on blast,
Turn it down,
Turn it down.
Don’t want it to clash,
With my body screaming now.
I know you hearing’ it,
You got me moaning now.
I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh.
I got a secrets imma drop em to the floor, oh.

No teasing,
You waited long enough.
Go deep,
Imma throw it at ya,
Can’t catch it.
Don’t hold back,
You know I like it rough.
Know I’m feelin ya, huh.
Know you liking it, huh.

I may come off as crude and downright disgusting but I’m not speaking for myself here. I am speaking on behalf of many of my girlfriends and associates that I have heard over the countless years, complain about their needs not being met. If you are going to spread your legs for a man than why not be satisfied? Not only are you risking your health and an unplanned pregnancy but now you want to risk all of that for lackluster sex??

Hell no.

F**k me badly once, shame on you. F**k me badly twice, shame on me! – Samantha Jones (Sex and the City)

So how do you go about being that sexual goddess that you always wanted to be (and secretly have in you) in the bedroom? Simple. You have to believe that you are!

 Step One: Love Your Body- Who cares if you have some dimples, blemishes, acne marks, stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, or whatever demarkation your body has received. If a man is so vain to think that your body will be void of flaws than he shouldn’t be able to sleep with you.

Step Two: Spice Up Your Lingerie….Seriously!-  Taken a trip to Victoria’s Secret lately? Have you bought a new bra or panties in a while? No, why not? Treat yourself and your lady parts to something that will leave you feeling sexy AND confident.

Step Three: Have A Song That Gets You Fired Up: Now it’s time for you to get in ready mode. What is your go to sexy song? Beyonce- Dance For You, Rihanna-Skin, Usher- Mars vs Venus, Jill Scott- All I….what is it? When you find that song that gets your hips swaying from side to side and your walk a little bit more seductive, than you’re ready to GO.

Step Four: Lighten Up & Have Fun: Be safe first and foremost! Condoms and contraceptives are a MUST! Once, you have established that than let your hair down and enjoy your partner. Be sensitive, speak up, be loud and enjoy each other.

 So ladies don’t be afraid to let your partner know what YOU want. Looking for a time to get started? You have this weekend to jump right in. I heard it was cold outside!!


One thought on “Are You Vocal About Your Needs…..Sexually?!

  1. It’s cold outside, Hahahaha….people need to increase their ability to connect. Connection is the best way to have great sex. It’s enhances an average situation to a good one, a good to a great. Being open and honest with yourself help you to be open and honest with other. Understanding strength and weakness, allowing you to pick a partner that is stong where you are weak. Chemistry is what fuels a healthy sex life….a healthy sex life build sexuality. The greatest partners are able to read eachother before turning the page and an orgasms will be at the end that book!!!!

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