Any hint of summer has been overtaken by the boots, scarfs and transitional jackets that I have seen around D.C. as the temperature has dramatically dropped. Waking up this morning was particulary hard, well, waking up every morning for me is hard (not a morning person AT all) but today was different. It was really dark outside and as I stepped out, I could smell the crisp cold air as I headed out the door. Walking by I couldn’t help but gaze at the dead leaves that paved the sidewalks as I briskly walked to the bus stop. It was cold and all I could think about was that cuffing season is about to commence.
So what in the world is cuffing season?
Ahh yes. That was the first thing I said when I heard the term back in 2009. I was in college and it was fall semester. I was single and had no intention or desire of being in a relationship. Contrary to my friends, I didn’t mind coming home and warming up to my blanket as I indulged in an episode of The Jersey Shore. Yet, not everyone on campus felt that way. If you ask urban dictionary what cuffing season is, this is their definition:
During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.Brittany: Why is everyone trying to holla this week like outta no where?Tiara: You know cuffing season is in full effect right?Brittany: Oh yeah you right. I know I wont be sleeping alone this weekend.
Yes, it’s fall (one of my favorite seasons) and the temperature is steadily dropping. Now that Hurricane Sandy, which has been dubbed as the “Frakenstorm”, is making it’s way towards the East Coast and might make landfall in D.C. on Sunday, being “cuffed” doesn’t seem so bad. LOL.
Well with every “relationship” comes some terms and conditions. Cuffing season is only supposed to last the duration of Fall and Winter, if the relationship grows past that than hey, you are one lucky guy or girl. So, anyone who is interested in getting “cuffed”I have some advice to give.
- Thou shall discuss terms and conditions: This is VERY important. When dealing with someone intimately and emotionally, you need to know where each party stands. I understand that things can get quite confusing but communicating will reduce the stress and/or confusion that may arise. Don’t side step this part and go with the ambigious flow because you can find yourself hurt or worse…dealing with someone you wish you never met. You need to know if they are planning on having multiple bed warmers; is texting at night going to be your only form of communication or are dates and other relationship-esque qualities going to be a is part of your rendezvous? Just ask!
- Thou shall use condoms and contraceptives…ALWAYS! :This sounds like common sense but I learned that common sense isn’t so common. When becoming intimate with someone, protection is ALWAYS key. Don’t blame that drunken night you left the bar or “it doesn’t feel too good with a condom”. Of course it doesn’t, but you want to know what doesn’t feel good? Heading to your OBGYN/doctor/clinic to find out that you’re pregnant, got someone pregnant or caught a transmitted disease. You don’t want your winter loving to blossom into a bundle of
regrement/fear/headachejoy. Also, you want to protect yourself from STD/HIV.
- Thou shall keep a level head:Yes, you finally found someone who you can hang out with. You’re enjoying yourself and the company that they provide; sexually you’re satisfied, mentally they get you and emotionally you’re beginning to fall. STOP IT. What you don’t need is to fall for someone who is treating you like a temp. No bueno.
- Thou shall have fun!: Smile, laugh, joke around. Go out and visit places you always wanted to see. Concert? Game? Comedy club? Nothing should be off limits…unless your life is at stake. No need to be couped up in eachother’s places when you can brace the cold and enjoy what your city has to offer. When there are nights that you want to stay in…jumping into the bed shouldn’t be the ONLY thing happening, unless you want it that way. Have a show you like or want to introduce them too? Go for it. Always wanted to check out Bridesmaid, what are you waiting for? Want to show off your culinary skills? Please do so.
- Thou shall keep it sexy:Ladies keep it tight. Shave, trim, clean, exfoliate and pamper your body. I know it’s cold and you may not want to shave your legs or maybe go a week or two without taming your lady parts but if you are dealing with someone just keep it sexy. This also applies to the guys, there should be no reason why you are not keeping up with yourself as well. Remember, good hygeine goes a LONG way.
- Thou shall have boundaries:This is key. I am a big advocate of communication and setting your own boundaries when it comes to the value systems you have in place for yourself and the ones you require in a partner. Even if this is a casual thing, it doesn’t mean that honesty and respect shouldn’t be a part of the equation. Remember, you show people how to treat you. If there is something that you don’t agree with or don’t feel comfortable with- SPEAK UP. If you end up losing that person in the process, whelp, there loss.
Remember be safe. Keep it sexy and more importantly stay warm!