Don’t Be a Bug-a-Boo

 It’s not hot that you be callin’ me
Stressin’ me, pagin’ my beeper
You’re just non-stop
And it’s not hot
That you be leavin’ me messages
Every 10 minutes and then you stop by
When I first met you, you were cool
But it was game, you had me fooled
‘Cause 20 minutes after I gave you my number
You already had my mailbox full – Destiny’s Child

Boy meets girl, girl is impressed, girl gives number…girl regrets this whole situation within in 3 days.

 Yeah, that is what happened to me.   I met this guy and he approached me, not necessarily taken by his looks he had a great personality and I gave him my number. Our first date we decided to chat over sushi and it was fun; I liked the guy but I wasn’t getting the boom da boom boom bass feeling. Not wanting to overlook him because the chemistry was lacking, I decided to give him another shot at a date. We went out for margaritas and it confirmed my suspicions…I was not feeling him.

If you asked him how the date went, he would rate it a 9. How could he not though?  I was friendly, charming, witty and I gave him a great time, however, he did nothing for me.


What was it about him that I didn’t like? I don’t really know but I couldn’t see myself getting romantically involved with him. I know what I want and he wasn’t it.

Well, now that this guy has my number and those two dates were great in his eyes, he is constantly contacting me and upadating me on his day-to -day life. You may be asking, “What is wrong with that Jen?” Nothing is wrong with it but it’s  not like a ‘hey, how are you doing, how was your weekend?’ kind of text. It was moreso, if you don’t respond to my first question text, I will continue to send lengthy text until  you reply. If  I did engage in conversation with him,  answered his texts it was not sufficient enough.  He wanted to know the who’s, the what’s, the where’s, the when’s, why’s and the how’s.

He wanted to know my inner most being and it was beyond annoying.

Some of my friends say that when it comes to dating, I have men like tendencies. I am blunt, honest and I can be quite selfish when it comes down to my wants. I am not afraid to add or drop from my roster (if I am dating multiple people). I just call it dating smart. Do I want to be in a relationship? Of course.  Am I going to settle to do so, HELL NO.

While chatting with my bestie, I discussed my frustrations and impatience with this guy. Not one to let anything go past her, she asked me this question:

 If you liked him, would it be different Jen?

To be honest with you, yes. I want a guy who challenges me to some degree. I don’t want him to play games and I definitely want him to consistently show interest but I don’t want him to ALWAYS be available. I don’t want to show up in this guy’s life and know all of a sudden he makes me a part of his world within a week of meeting him. That scares me.

The red flags are already waving at me and it is hard for me not to ignore them. On our second date, I asked him how many dates he’s been on in the past 3-5 months; expecting a low number,  (0-10) I was surprised at how candid and unocomfortable his answer made me.

Well, I’ve been on 25-30 dates Jennifer.

<blank stare>

Say what now??

Immediately I heard Beyonce screaming in my head, “Ring the Alarm”. “How could you be on so many dates in that short of a time?”, I thought. Well, now I know…this guy is a stage 5 clinger.

Nothing wrong with seeing something that you like and going after it, however, you need to be tactful.

So how do you handle a bug-a-boo?

That is something I’m still trying to figure out. I don’t like disappearing acts and I don’t feel that is the way to handle a situation or someone’s feelings, however, I am trying to avoid confrontation at all cost.  I don’t do too well with passive agressiveness and some people may not appreciate my blunt honesty. So how do you spare someone’s feeling, while telling them the upmost truth about their annoying behavior?


When you have someone who is interested in you than you are them, things can get quite difficult and at times uncomfortable. Turning someone down isn’t the easiest thing to do, trust me, I’ve had my fair share of insults from ego-bruised boys men.

Honesty and communication is the best policy. I am a big advocater for both and will be using these methods to let this guy down. I feel like I’m being rushed in so many directions; instead of giving an idea on a date he is fast fowarding and attaching deadlines to things/situations/events and we haven’t reached a week of knowing each other. Too much for me hun.

So what do you do when you are confronted with a bug-a-boo? Do you let them know or do you disappear? Do you think I am acting this way because I don’t like the guy? SOUND OFF…I want to hear from you!


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