Is He Blowing Hot and Cold?

What about my pride, you’re never satisfied, you made me feel like I wasn’t worth being by your side. I done sacrifice all of my damn time, giving you all mine…you see me dying inside.  Trying to find, tying to be the woman you love. Tried everything but it just don’t seem like it’s enough. Hey baby, tried to believe, but I’m tried of being tired. Trying to love, trying to fight and I’m running out of tries…you’re just no good!Ashanti ‘Woman You Love’

Being single and dating has allowed me to look at things with a different perspective. I  just had a conversation with my bestie on how we women will change our behavior, appearance and demeanor for a guy that we like, in hopes that we are the exception to his rule.


Why must we do all of that just to get some guy. If you have to do that, than ladies he is NOT the guy for you. It takes a while for that to resonate but when it hits, it hits HARD. Trust me….I know!

You know how it is ladies, you see a guy who catches your attention; he seems like a great guy and he’s coming on strong. It seems like he can’t get enough of you and then boom it happens, you don’t hear from him anymore. You start questioning his behavior but instead of asking him, you seek advice from your closest  friends.  After agonizing if you would reach out, you finally summon the courage but text messages are left unanswered and phone calls are sent to voice mail… worst of all, your ego is bruised.


Reality hits and everything that you had believed and ate up was all a  damn lie. You can’t pinpoint when it actually happens but you felt the shift and you knew something wasn’t right.

The only one who made me cry is you 
and the only one i had to fight  is you 
(And it was you who told me)
He said i will never have to fight again 
he said i will never have to cry again 
He say , been to the battle field and my heart 
is safe with him 
All my trust i’ll give it to him 
So i guess i fell in love with a toy soldier 

So what happened you may ask? Did you do something wrong?  The answer is no and NO. These are usually the thoughts that swarms our minds and it’s normal. It’s not a great feeling but  unfortunately, a guy who blows hot and cold will always have you awaiting for an answer when he finally decides to reappear.

When it comes to other people’s emotions, guys can be very selfish. So where does the blame fall? I believe wholeheartedly it falls on the guy. There are a lot of guys  out there who are confused and indecisive with what they want BUT the one thing that they do want, is the frills and benefits of being in a relationship without the most important part: COMMITMENT.

I had a guy that liked me, yet he is the KING of blowing hot and cold. We’ve known each other for 6 years and since then we have remained friends. One night he called me and I was surprised; here is a guy who I haven’t talked to in a couple of months and know he was calling me. I was leery of the conversation and I had every right to be, he was an inconsistent friend and now he wanted to be my man. However, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and listened what he had to say, until the conversation took a drastic left turn. Here he was asking me would I get in a relationship with him.

Wait, what?

I pondered the thought but I knew the guy that I was dealing with.  I was flattered at the request but why would I even say yes when our friendship was on a touch and go basis? I steered clear from that and went on with my life.

Two years later I get the same call…nothing had changed with our friendship and yet again he was insistent on us being together. Once again, I was skeptical with his feelings and decided to see if he was just “all talk”. I was going to play the part  as if I was interested and listen to what he had to say.

Once he got the clear light from me, the phone calls and texts were consistent. He was very attentive and rather sweet. The calls started going down the line of future faking about what we would do once he completes his education and what not, but I knew that it was only a short time before he showed his ass.

The calls, the texts, the sweet nothings, the future faking only lasted for 3 days. LOL. Was I surprised, not really. If I actually placed that bet with my friend, I would have been $20 happier. SMH these guys I tell you.

So what happens when you get a guy like that? There is nothing that you can do but observe and reserve your emotions and feelings to when you feel that he is receptive and is reciprocating the same emotions/feelings.This is not the time to get in la la land and build sandcastles in your mind until you have concrete evidence that things are progressing.

Realize that some people will use you for an ego stroke, for sex and other reasons unknown to you. Just be wise and take things slow. Time usually exposes a lot of things…I understand that you can get caught up in feelings and that is why these guys take a normal relationship and rev it into high gear.

If you feel that the guy you are dating takes you from a 3 to 10 be very cautious. 



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