You must be blind, you must be dumb, you must be tripping, you must be crazy to think that I’m gonna let you of that easy. I know you mad, can’t take no more but put that back that aint yours. Have a fit, slam the door leave them bags on the floor…that shit belongs to me!– Monica & Brandy- Belongs To Me
Have you ever dated someone and everything was going great? You lavished them with gifts and trips only for them to leave you hurt and confused. Maybe they cheated, maybe you found something out or y’ll simply just drifted apart; what do you do? Do you ask for those things back or call it a lost?
A very difficult position to find yourself in.
‘David’, a very good friend of mine, was so in love with his girlfriend… I mean you could not tell him anything! Gifts, he gave. Trips, check. Shopping sprees, check. Discretionary money, check. Spa trips, check. The girl had it all and then some. In the beginning, it was rather cute and made all of us jealous; she was lucky to have someone so in love with her that he was willing to go above and beyond to make her happy. However, an undeniable shift happened in their relationship… she had the upper hand. No longer was she the grateful girlfriend, instead she was the demanding, accusing and annoying brat.
Did this stop my friend from giving? No, even though it should have. You would think that he would have slowed down but it became a habit. When she was angry, he made sure to relieve her of that emotion with a gift. She became cold, dismissive and just downright complacent but instead of handling her, she was rewarded with gifts and shopping sprees. Smh.
I couldn’t neglect the way that my friend felt. Not only was he healing his ego but his wallet was getting a major readjustment. He had given his all and yet he had nothing to show for it but a broken heart. TOUGH.
You see I was in ‘serious like’ with this guy. You could not tell me ANYTHING about him. Tall, check. Handsome, check. Intelligent, check. Great personality, check. Chemisty, check..check…CHECK. We started talking and it felt like we knew each other for years. Our relationship took off at a rate that I craved. I was shocked and addicted to it to it, him…mixed into one pot of what the hell. Yea, it was THAT serious. Remember, I was young, naive and in ‘love’/lust. I wanted to see him that I decided to shell out money for a plane ticket so he could see me. My hard earned money was gone but at that time, it was just an investment in this thing called ‘us.’ I was so excited for him to come that my nights felt longer than my days. I couldn’t sleep, focus or pay attention to what was going around me. The feeling was intoxicating and I didn’t know how much was TOO much. I was going to see him again and that was ALL that mattered!
Anxiously waiting for his arrival was worse; I scrutinized everything in my apartment, shoot my outfit, hair and makeup also made that list. All I wanted was his arms wrapped around me again and to see infectious smile. Was that too much to ask???
In the words of T-Pain, I was sprung!
Everything that weekend came out of my pocket. Was I disappointed, slightly, but I he was there so I didn’t really care. Things were going well until we went and visited his family. It wasn’t visiting his family that turned a great weekend into a nightmare, it was his lack or rather his dismissive attitude towards me.
I was distraught.
I spent all this money on a guy that I cared about and here he was treating me as a family friend. Devastating.
We ended up getting in a major argument that night; tears were shed, words were spoken and our “relationship” was hanging on by a diminishing thread. The ride back was the WORST. I literally saw several hundred dollars go down the drain but for what? So I could be in the car staring blankly at the window, while tears ran down my face. If this is what love is supposed to feel like, I didn’t want any part of it. To make matters worse, he told met in a sarcastic manner that he would pay me back everything that I spent. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me…
My efforts had gone unnoticed. Not only did I feel stupid but the money that was spent, I could not get back. Funny enough, you would think that was the end of us but no, I put myself through another 3 months of grueling uncertainty. I wanted it to work soo badly that I endured a lot of shit. I finally realized that I couldn’t force matters anymore; I had to take a L.
Life has a funny way of teaching you things AFTER you go through them. I can relate to my friend and I could tell you that it hurts. The time, the money, the emotions…gone.
Have you ever dated someone and broke up and asked for gifts/money back? Would you, or would you consider it a loss? Do you agree with Monica and Brandy? If so, why or why not?