Who could ever forget this infamous clip from the hit VHI show For The Love of Ray J!
This subject has been on my mind for awhile. I have been doing a little dating here and there and this thought came to mind. What would happen if I end up messing around with a guy and then months later I meet a great guy and it happens to be his friend?
This was definitely a conversation starter with friends and it was crazy to hear some stories, some views and overall perception when it comes to guy-female perspective on friendship and sex.
What do you do when you find out that the person that you are dating slept with your friend? Do you leave them alone? Continue dating them? Have sex with them and keep it moving? What??
I have a friend of mine who liked a guy and was sleeping with him. They weren’t dating even though she wanted them too; their ‘relationship’ was strictly casual. Well, she ended up meeting another guy who seemed to actually like her; they flirted and messed around once but no sex was involved. Now the dilemma arose…these two guys were friends but not just any ordinary ‘hi-bye’ friends, they were extremely close.
Being a friend, I told her to retreat and take a L. She couldn’t understand that dealing with a guys friend just means trouble. Not only would they be discussing you but the respect (if it was even there) is completely stripped. Is that fair? Well, is life fair?
Till this day, I’m not sure what she ended up doing, cases like this the line can be definitely blurred. If she ended up messing with the friend this just shows me that the guy never respected her in the first place. Not only does he not care but he doesn’t mind getting some as well. Some of these guys are heartless but is he really to blame here?
What if it happened to be that a girl or guy slept with a friend of yours month or maybe even years before they knew you, are they completely off limits? Does the level of friendship hold weight to it? Is that even relevant?
I know I was talking to one of my friends and he asked me a question that made me think.
Jennifer, if a guy slept with Nicole (my BFF) and then wanted to date you, would you?
I didn’t even hesitate to answer but was it because she was my bestie? Or was it the principal? This was more difficult than I thought.
In college I had a
friend associate who I was really close with and I knew every dude she was sleeping with, talking/dating, etc. I didn’t know that I was going to find myself in a similar position of this post but hey it’s life right? It all started when her ex boyfriend (and that term is debatable) asked me for my number in a friendly manner. I’ve known this guy for about 2 years and we were always friendly when we saw each other. Neither one of us crossed the line with each other but somehow my friend associate caught wind that we exchanged numbers and ALL hell broke loose.
One Saturday afternoon, I read a text from her that stated she wanted to talk. Confused at why she just couldn’t call me I decided that it was cool for her to come over.
What a fu-kin mistake.
This girl was batshit crazy. Someone who I considered a friend was now accusing me of trying to sleep with her ex knowing everything that he put her through. I was confused. How did she come to that conclusion when the only thing I did was exchange numbers. Shoot we hadn’t even made contact yet, and I wasn’t planning on doing so either.
Funny enough her conversation only made me curious. Can you blame me? Here is someone who I considered a friend and now she is seeing me as a threat to her now existent man who she hasn’t been in a relationship with in years. Here is a girl who has slept with members of his faternity and yet she still wanted to put claims on her “man”.
Have a seat!
It was the beginning of the end for our friendship and the rebirth of a new one…with her ex. Did I feel guilty? Yes, at first, but the more secretive we were the more amusing it became. I couldn’t understand why she was against our friendship. Did he like me? Was he always interested in me? What was the big DEAL?? I later found out that there was more there than both of them would have like to admit but it was definitely an interesting twist on things.
I no longer speak with the guy but we are amicable in public her ummmm not so much.
Some may say that I am wrong by having a friendship with my friend’s ex even though she was shaken up about it but to those who say that #kanyeshrug to you. Here is my thing, I was always this guy friend or associate for better lack of term. We spoke in public, hugged each other when we saw each other and talked about anything relative at that time. What is the huge difference now because he had access to my phone line?
What irked me was the lack of trust that she had in me to make a sound decision. She even went as far as forbidding me to speak to him.
HOLD THE FCK UP….WHAT???
Smh. Trippy situation indeed.
I ended up doing me, take that for what it’s worth but at that time my friendship with her was dissolved.
Sooooooo what do you guys think? Smash the homies or pass? What is the right circumstance or does one even exist?