Sex With an Ex??

Yea, many of you have done it…some have basked in the joy of it and others have re-visited old wounds. Personally, I can’t comment but I have heard  too many stories of what happens post- coitus with an ex that leaves me emotionally confused as the person telling the story.


This weekend after dancing and singing countlessly to Rihanna’s Birthday Cake (Remix) feautring her ex -boyfriend Chris Brown, I couldn’t help but take a second listen to the lyrics. I am not her best friend (though that would be GREAT if it happened) and I don’t know what she does in her private time, but if this song is an indicator of their “relationship” than I know many can relate.

It’s not even my birthday and he wants to lick the icing off. I know you want it in the worst way, can’t wait to blow my candle out…he want that cake!

“Girl I wanna f-ck you right now, been a long time I’ve been missing your body. Let me, let me turn the lights down…when I go down it’s a private party.”- Chris Brown

Remember how you did it, remember how you did it? If you still wanna kiss it….come, come and get it. Sweeter than a rice cake worth tipping; kill it, tip it, cake it…fill it.”- Rihanna

Well…..alrighty then!

I know most people go to an ex to fill that urge of intimacy rather than someone new who they have to create history  and somewhat level of comfort with.  I can’t speak for men, but I believe many women sleep with their ex to reduce the risk of increasing their  “number” but is this really beneficial?

Now, if you are a person who can remove emotions when you sleep with someone, I will become your friend in a heartbeat and will love your uncanny wisdom and advice. However, I find this to be uncommon unless you are a ruthless, selfish and somewhat robotic person than by all means stay away from me.

Can sex with an ex be enjoyable?

Could be, but the confusion that erupts from it can take that instant high into an all new low. Most exes don’t discuss the parameters, (due to several different circumstances) which can lead to unexpected demands, confusing expectations and the feeling of being ‘used’ even if you were the one to suggest it.


Most people may not agree with me and that is fine. I am all about doing something that makes you happy regardless of what everyone thinks. However, I am also for being wise in some regards when it comes to the matter of the heart.

If you are a fragile person and don’t enjoy getting your emotions played with, then acknowledge that. If you don’t get caught up in your feelings when sleeping with someone and have no problem jumping in and out of bed with someone who you once had feelings for…shoot, go for it! But if you can’t separate the two, my advice is to find someone new.

Yes, it is hard to put yourself out there and find someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know you but that may be what you truly need.

Have you ever slept with an ex? How  you advise someone to do it? Would you do it to not increase your sex partner?did that turn out?


6 thoughts on “Sex With an Ex??

  1. I hit up an ex from time to time. Rihanna is doing it because Chris Brown, for better or worse beat her and it turned Rihanna on. Simple as that.

  2. Sleeping with an ex does complicate things. You both agree its through, but someone always sends a drunk text or asks what the other is doing on a Friday night, then you find yourself in bed with them in the morning.

    Trust me on the Rihanna thing. Its just the way it is.

  3. …It’s like a dog returning to his vomit, a repeat of [for lack of a better word] foolishness. The short term pleasures are truly convenient. Unfortunately, repeating this activity, eventually gets to the point that one becomes completely blind-sided to the emotional damage to one’s psyche & principles… It’s like slowly boiling a live frog on low heat [high school experiment] it never jumps out of the water, it’s temperature keeps adjusting to the slowly warming water, and the poor frog thinks all is well, until… voila! it’s cooked and dead and the water is now boiling; yet the pot was un-covered all along, and the frog had lots of opportunities to jump out, but didn’t.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s